Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a
veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said,
"I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just
be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left
the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador
Retriever.

As the duck’s owner looked on in
amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on
the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.
He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat.

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its
haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the
room.
The vet looked at the woman and said,
"I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a
few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.
"£150!" she cried, "£150 just to tell me my duck
is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just
taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."